tooprettytodie | For Jessica

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For Jessica

The changing of the island to the old west had thrown off Valkyrie's date plans just a bit. She had actually planned a really cool date with Jessica only to have the entire island screw things up by changing into the American old west. It was like they were stuck in a horrible theme park.

The one saving grace was that she had been able to coax a decent looking outfit from the clothing box, where most of her friends had been stuck in some really horrid dresses.

As it was, with a few days preparation she'd been able to figure out a fairly decent substitute for the date she had originally planned. All in all, it had taken a little bit of hard work and a note to Jessica to meet her closer to 3 o'clock than to one but it was going to be worth it. If things went well, maybe she'd have to see if Jessica wanted to try her original idea once they got back home. In the mean time, she thought this would be pretty fun.

The fact that Jessica was so fun was the only thing keeping Valkyrie from being overly nervous at the moment. This was her first official date with a girl, which was kind of a big thing. Did she like girls? Did she just like Jessica? Are you there God, it's me Valkyrie?

Well, either way, whatever was going to happen was going to happen soon. Unless, of course, Jessica stood her up.

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I think I've officially spent way too long trying to figure out what to wear, which I guess should earn me some certificate of feminine authenticity. Except not, because it'd be wrong to figure that adhering to stereotypes is required to be a girl. Anyway, the educational lesson I've taken away is that in the Old West, a woman's choice of outfits were either dressing like a saucy saloon girl, or like one of the wives from a Mormon compound. Eventually, I found a prairie dress that didn't threaten to choke me, and offset the whole frills business with a cowboy hat and boots, because it's the old west and I'm going to wear a damned cowboy hat.

I think I've also established that I'm kind of nervous, managing to calm myself with the realization that I'm not just nervous because technically I haven't really done this before, but also partly because I'm straight-up looking forward to it.

I may not know where I stand on gender preferences, but Valkyrie is pretty swell. And, I have to note, as I see what she's managed to dig up in the way of clothing, way cooler than me.

"Hi," I say, sort of shyly, and then square my head and thrust my little posy of wildflowers out with a straight arm, regaining some assurance. "I don't actually know who's meant to do what in this situation, but I figured since you asked me, the least I could do was bring the flowers."

Valkyrie actually blushed a little as she took the offered flowers. The fact that Jessica had thought to do something like that was cute, even if Valkyrie suddenly felt like she was going on a date with someone from Little House on the Prairie.

"Thanks, they're really pretty. And I think we should official stop worrying about who does what and just do what we want to do," she said with a nod. "You look good, by the way. The hat is a really good touch."

Valkyrie fidgeted nervously for a bit, fishing for something else to say. Was she this nervous on dates with guys? She didn't think so, and she didn't think this should be any different.

"Uh, just so you know, there's no pressure with this. I mean, I'm not looking for a girlfriend in the next month or anything. You're just... really cool and really pretty and I just thought, 'Jessica would be awesome to go on a date with' so... yeah."

"That's... actually pretty much perfect, going too fast with any of this stuff really isn't for me," I say. All true, and the kind of thing people say. They usually don't say it because of my particular issues, but, heck, everyone has their own issues, right? I may be square, but Huey Lewis has a song about that.

"So, likewise cool -- actually, I'm going to give you the advantage on cool points there, cowgirl -- and pretty Valkyrie Cain, let's go be awesome at dates."

Valkyrie was glad that Jessica seemed to be more than okay with what Valkyrie was hoping to get out of this. That took a lot of the pressure and potential awkwardness out of things. There was definitely still some pressure and awkwardness, that was only natural when you were going on a date with someone that was as great as Jessica was, but Valkyrie could handle that.

The last thing she wanted was to date someone, only to need them to help her kill the person she was cheating with on them. That was so not fun and very much avoidable by not having a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.

"And yes, let's go," Valkyrie said, reaching down to pick up the picnic basket at her feet. "I thought we'd have a picnic and, weather permitting, a bit of a surprise. But it's a short walk to the place. For the record, I had a totally cool science experiment date planned before everything went Spaghetti Western on us."

"A cool science experiment date?" I say, lighting up, even if it's off the table because of the aforementioned Spagehtti Western-ness. "Man, did you have me pegged."

Which, I mean, I'm pretty open about it, but there was thought there. Kind of an interesting thing about the gender roles we're not worrying about -- because obviously -- is that in Peter's memories, he kind of mostly did that, because that's where the expectation is. But here I am, going along for the ride.

A little fun, a little strange. I wouldn't say off-putting. But maybe I'll get the next one, if it turns out a next one is an actual thing. We'll see.

"Okay, now, don't tell me. Mid-afternoon, weather permitting... if we're robbing a train car, I dressed all wrong. Also I have moral qualms."

"What can I say, I aim to please," Valkyrie said.

Also, she aimed to have people pleased with her, at least she aimed for that with the person she was going on a date with. Call it vanity, but she liked being liked. Probably something she should work on at some point.

"And it was going to be a stagecoach," she said. "Although given our respective outfits, I feel like I should be trying you to train tracks or something. Although I'm lacking a mustache to twirl, if that's the case."

"There's always the long hair approach," I say, grabbing a bit of my hair and pulling it across my upper lip to serve as a mustache, which I then twirl with the other hand. "Use the tools at hand. Or we could switch up, nobody would expect me to tie you to the train tracks instead."

"That's very true. Very devious of you," Valkyrie said, giving herself a mustache in the same manner that Jessica had.

"But I mustache you a question, who would come to my rescue? Or would I do my own rescue? Or in your scenario, is it all a hoax to get the train to stop so we can rob it?"

Mustache you. A true classic, and I grin again.

"What did I say about my moral- wait, tying a girl to train tracks, clearly those qualms were a clever ruse," I say. Maintaining, naturally, the mustache of evil. "So we're robbing it. We're really very clever. Maybe we're robbing it to retrieve already ill-gotten gains. It's a bandit train."

"The authorities are helpless to stop it, so it's up to- a crime-fighting duo to be named at a later time- to put a stop to it," Valkrie said with a nod. Clearly Jessica was brilliant. Or devious. Possibly both. Either one was kind of attractive.

"We could take over the bandit train and use it for our mobile headquarters, roaming from town to town to administer justice. Also, we'd have to blow up a safe. There's always a safe on a train to blow up."

"Mobile bases are the coolest," I agree, briefly wondering if future back home me actually gets to ride around in the helicarrier. Only briefly, though, because it's pointless speculation, and there's stuff back here I'm happy to have my attention on.

"There must have been good money in being the guy who made train safes. That, or people were always getting mad at him for not bomb-proofft-"

The downside of draping your hair over your upper lip is sometimes it gets in your mouth while you're happily chatting. I figure, with a slight cough, that that's enough hairstache for now and flick it back. "...proofing," I finish.

"Or maybe they were just really, really offensively ugly safes," she suggested. Valkyrie could think of a few people she knew that were probably nuts enough to blow something up just for that reason.

"And suddenly my date idea of having a picnic in a rickety-but-dry shanty and hopefully watching one of the storms seems like a rather boring date compared to the train robbery-slash-liberation."

"Nah, train robbery's more of a second date. Never go on a first date somewhere that gets in the way of talking," I say, wisely.

Mostly I've heard that applied to, like, the movies, but train robbery-slash-liberations probably tie in, as well.

"Plus if it pans out I'm going to be totally impressed by your meteorological prowess."

"Well, given the weather patterns the last few days, there's a 75% chance it will storm," she said. The first time she had seen one of them, she knew it would be an amazing date if she could actually pull it off, weather cooperating.

"There's the picnic spot right there," she said, pointing to small hill and what amounted to a couple of posts with some lumber leaning along the side of it. Not the most impressive looking structure, but it would do the job, she'd made sure of that.

"And I tested it, so if it does actually rain, we will stay dry. Also if it rains we had better hope this keeps going as well as it has been because otherwise we'll be miserable and trapped together or miserable and walking home through the rain."

"Ooh, baby, talk statistics to me," I say, flapping a hand at my face as if to cool down. I dont know why I say it like a joke, though, it's pretty much completely accurate. "High risk, high reward, then? I admire your moxie. Also the word moxie. Was this-" I gesture at what I can best describe as a shelter, to be polite, "-already here?"

Valkyrie was glad that Jessica appreciated the statistics. She specifically worked them out just for her. Not that it was particularly difficult, it took all of 30 seconds, but she felt it was the small things that made the difference.

"It wasn't," Valkyrie admitted. "But what I want you to take away from this is not that I'm a terrible carpenter, but that I'm willing and able to drag lumber all the way out here."

"Oh my god," I say, putting my hand over my mouth. "I cannot believe you built a- um- I'm going to call it a shelter, because I care."

It's just a very nice level of forethought, really. Preparation and consideration and all that. Not going to lie, it's winning me over. Not that I was under, really, but there's more of the over, now.

"I'm impressed. But prepared to take all this back if I get rained on."

(Not really, because what's a little rain?)

Valkyrie was glad that Jessica seemed to appreciate the effort. Also, it was kind of her to refer to it as a shelter when it looked like something that pretty much just fell together.

"That's what your hat is for, to protect you from the rain. At least, that's what I'm going with. And it's no big deal, you're worth it. I mean, even if we don't fall madly in love or whatever... you're fun. I like hanging out and talking with you."

"Aw, shucks," I say, wishing I had pockets to thrust my hands into to complete the effect -- which is based in being genuinely flattered, let's not get that wrong -- and settling for linking them behind my back for a spell.

"You're totally worth building a rickety shelter for, too. What with the also being fun and pretty and such."

Abuptly I unlink my hands and clap them. "Now, give up the goods." Beat, and then to clarify, "What've we got in the basket o' food?"

"Look at you, all eager to get your hands on my goods," she teased. Jessica was probably just as adorable as Perseus about being teased, which she totally shouldn't think about because it was bad form to compare people you were going on dates with like that.

"But I've got some drumsticks in here, biscuits, some tea, and I actually found a few slices of apple pie."

"A joke about putting my mouth on them probably goes here," I say, managing, I think, to keep the going red to a minimum. I'm a jokester, I can handle the innuendo, c'mon, Jess. You put it out there, honestly.

Then I'm distracting by having to pause to figure out how to sit down in the prairie get-up. In any dress, actually, it's a bit trickier than pants. The things you learn. You have to kind of fold.

"Which, actually, I am starving. In addition to statistics I am also big on food."

"A dirty joke from you even, it must be my lucky day," she said, grinning as she sat down. She noticed how awkward of a time Jessica had and wished that she'd brought down chairs out or something.

"Well, that one I can't claim any advanced planning on my part for. I mean, I knew the stats and the science experiment would be a big hit but the food was just sort of something to do while we talked."

"So it wasn't carefully prepared in a five-star restaurant?" I say, twitching my skirt a little to make sure it's decent.

Ha. As if this get-up ever couldn't be, it's basically designed to make any level of indecency impossible. Oh, those old-timers.

"I'd take points off, except for the part where I'm not picky. About food, anyway."

"I think five members of the police force were in the place I got the food, and they probably have those Marshall badges, right? So technically it's sort of five star."

That was stretching it beyond reason, but she felt like she could make it work in an upside-down logic sort of way.

"So what are you picky about?" Valkyrie asked, opening up the basket to begin distributing the food. "I'm guessing the accuracy of statistics is one of them."

"That makes basically no sense, but it's fun, so... I'll allow it," I say, nodding, eyeing the shelter and wondering if leaning on it is advised.

I think I'll avoid it. Besides, I'm fine where I am. It's a picnic, so even if I am by nature a percher, I can sit.

"Um, so, let's see. Statistics, definitely. Adherence to the scientific method. References to old pop culture properties? It's not really a long list. Oh, and hair products."

Not... actually a joke, really. I'm kind of vain about my hair, because my hair is awesome. Best hair of all the clones, I don't care what Peter says about that Kaine guy.

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