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[tooprettytodie]

It was time to stop hiding. That didn't mean she was going to fully integrate herself into island society again. She still wasn't going to go to her dance classes, especially not with Percy there, but she had decided to go ahead and live in her own place again. As grateful as she was to Charlie and Edmund for letting her crash at their place, she wanted to be back home.

She had left notes in the mailboxes of everyone that had gone home with everyone. They simply said I'm sorry. -Valkyrie

She wasn't sure what could be said beyond that. She hated herself for what she had done to them, even if becoming Darquesse had been to save them. In the end, she hadn't been strong enough to save her friends, not from herself. Not only that, but each time she became Darquesse, it was harder and harder to find her way back. If it hadn't been for the ending of the dream, she wasn't sure if she would have come back from that.

Then there was the fact that all of her closest friends now knew her secret. It wouldn't have been so bad except that her secret was that she had the potential to become some sort of crazy-powerful nut job without any conscience. Go her.

Sighing, Valkyrie curled up on her couch and hugged her knees to her chest. She'd just sit here for a while and try not to obsess over what happened. Later, much, much later tonight she would head to the ring and take out some anger on one of the bags and maybe go for a run along the beach.

[This can be set for any time between the 1st of June and now.]

Comments

[percy_jackson]

Valkyrie was very good at hiding. After I'd woken up, I'd tried to rush over to her place to talk to her. It was only because my body betrayed me, telling me in no uncertain terms I needed food and, almost as importantly, a shower, that I didn't do just that. By the time I got to her hut, she was gone, and my attempts to find her proved fruitless.

By then, it was clear that she didn't want to be found, and while that hurt, I understood. So, I gave her her space. I went to Coraline's birthday party. I went to dance class one week, and left when Valkyrie didn't show up. It was the hardest couple of weeks in my life. The pain from the injuries sustained in my dream stayed with me, though there was no reason for them to be there whatsoever. Probably psychosomatic, I thought, grimly.

When Valkyrie's note appeared in my mailbox, I thought again about going to her hut. I didn't. Maybe it was because the note was so short. She had nothing to say -- and what could she say? And what could I say in return? So I stayed in my bedroom, moping, before Mrs. O'Leary rousted me in no uncertain terms and demanded her walk.

I patted Mrs. O'Leary's side as we headed out for a walk along the beach. Apparently, she'd sat outside my hut, not moving, while I was in my dream trip. I was afraid I'd neglected her in the weeks that followed. She deserved better, so I gave her a long walk. A good choice, too, as the sound of the surf soothed me.

But then Mrs. O'Leary looked ahead, and let out a soft "WOOF!".

I looked ahead, and saw a shadow against the twilight that I recognized instantly. My heart leapt, but I smiled. I patted Mrs. O'Leary and nodded at the forest. "Go have some fun, girl," I said. Mrs. O'Leary bounded into the woods.

I cut across the beach, and stood by the water, my hands in my pockets, waiting as Valkyrie approached.

[swan_diver]

It took Bella a day or two to recover from being immobile for so long, to eat and get her strength back, to calm a very stressed boyfriend who'd watched after her while she slept, to try and sleep around a new round of nightmares. Thankfully, as ever, his arms were there before the screams came so they never got as bad as they probably could have been.

When she found the note in her mailbox, it was the first time she'd felt back to her normal self, so she'd gone in search of her friend and it was only by accident (spotting her through a window as she passed) that Bella found her.

She didn't go closer than sight range before she called out. "Val?"

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie had decided that she had had enough moping around. She wanted to go out for a run, to exhaust herself until she puked and could collapse into sleep.

One of the most disturbing things about all of this was that she didn't have any nightmares. Valkyrie felt like she should at least have nightmares from everything she had done to everyone but there was nothing like that. Just one more thing to feel guilty about.

She had decided to run along the beach, enjoying how heavy the sand made her feet feel and how cool the breeze was. A run seemed to be just the thing that she needed, already her head feeling more clear and the shadows that plagued her hanging a little less heavy on her.

And then she heard the bark, unmistakable even on an island full of large dogs. Mrs. O'Leary was unmistakable and where she was, Percy was close by. She thought about running away, but she couldn't. She wished she could say that it was because she was a strong person but that wasn't true. It was because Percy deserved it.

"Hey," she said, brushing the hair from her eyes as she jogged up to him. "Sorry if I puke on your shoes, I was going all out."

[tooprettytodie]

Bella was probably the easiest of her friends to face. Possibly because she didn't directly hurt her or mess with her as Darquesse. She was grateful for that, especially since out of everyone Bella was able to least fight back. Bella still deserved an apology though.

"Hey," she called out. "Come on in, the door is unlocked."

[swan_diver]

She stepped into the hut tentatively, looking around to see if they were alone or not. Once close enough, she took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, studying her best friend's face. "How're you doing? Since, we...came home, I guess?"

[percy_jackson]

I frowned. Who jogged until they were about to puke? Someone who wanted to run and not stop, ever, I realized. I kept my voice light. "Hello to you too." Then, more seriously, I added, "Maybe you'd like to sit down?" I nodded at the sand.

[tooprettytodie]

If it had been anyone but Bella, she might have thought they were studying her to see if it was Valkyrie or Darquesse that was home. But that was something she knew that Bella would never do.

"I'm fine. Physically, at least. But I- how do I even start to apologize for what happened? I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I did all that to you."

[tooprettytodie]

"No, let's keep walking for right now. If I sit down I'll especially sore tomorrow," she said.

She was breathing hard, but it was a good excuse to be short on words for the moment. Normally with Percy she knew exactly what to say or do, but right now she wasn't sure.

[notaparker]

There's two main feelings I get off the note, once I get it. The first is relief. It's signed Valkyrie, and it may only be two words long but they're two words that my least favorite Mr Hyde reboot is extremely unlikely to have penned. Which meant that Valkyrie woke up as Valkyrie. I was worried that might not be the case.

So there's relief, and there's the feeling bad about having to receive the note in the first place, because all of that happened. And I didn't stop it. I didn't make it not necessary for her to bring the other side of herself out, I didn't find a way to bring her back to normal. Good job earning that sense of relief, hero.

That might be part of why I don't immediately go and find her, although I think that the reason of giving her some space is also valid. It seems reasonable, if she's leaving notes, she doesn't want to deal with anyone immediately. And that works, for a bit, but then it's partway through the month and I start to wonder if actually I'm not delaying because of my own issues and maybe I should check in, and should have earlier.

Yeah, this month has been a real great showing from yours- and there I go again. Not about me. About her, and about the frankly sort-of-terrifying other her. Let's see if she actually wants or needs a conversation about... whatever that is.

"Avon calling," I say, knocking.

Ergh. Weak. So weak. Just... so obvious.

[percy_jackson]

I nodded, and fell into step beside her. A part of me wondered if she didn't want to sit down so she wouldn't have to get up in case she decided to run away, but I left that thought alone.

We walked in awkward silence a moment, as the horizon brightened with moonrise. I ran over in my head things I wanted to say. Everything I could think of seemed trite or stupid.

Finally, I settled with, "Okay, stupid question of the year: are you all right?"

[swan_diver]

Bella shook her head. "You don't start, because there's nothing to apologize for, Valkyrie. Unless you're trying to make me believe you went to bed that night thinking how great it'd be to grab a handful of us and take us home with you for zombies and deep dark secrets you would have rather no one ever knew."

She looked over at Valkyrie with a raised eyebrow. "Any of that true?"

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie was torn about wanting to see Jess again. On one hand, Jessica was awesome and a great friend and person and someone she could probably talk about this with and be happy with. On the other hand, she had totally gone all Dark Side on her friends and really hurt them, mentally and physically. So there was that.

"Oh good," Valkyrie called, getting up off the couch and heading to the door. Opening it, she gave her best effort for a smile. "Do you have any gifts that say 'I'm sorry for sucking you into my zombie apocalypse dream and turning super evil?' Because... I could really use some gifts like that right now."

[tooprettytodie]

"I'm not in love with you."

Perhaps not the smoothest transition in the world, and not even remotely an answer to Percy's question, but it's something she wanted said right away. Bless him for asking about her well being first, but she figured that had to be eating at him, the fact that he threw that out there and she didn't get a chance to answer. At least the real her didn't.

It probably wasn't the best to seem overly eager to say that though. She didn't want to hurt Percy anymore than she had.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice soft. "That doesn't mean I won't ever. Or that I couldn't. Or that I don't think you're incredible. It's just that I... don't love you."

[tooprettytodie]

"Would this be a bad time to make some sort of innuendo about what I think about you while I fall asleep?" she said, trying for a bit of levity. "And having you all visit home wouldn't have been so bad. Even the zombies weren't so bad before they started to overwhelm us," said Valkyrie. She remembered Bella maybe not having as good a go at it as everyone else had though.

"And I never wanted any of you hurt. But I did hurt you. It was the only way to save you, but I never thought becoming Darquesse again would make me do all that to all of you."

Granted, Darquesse wouldn't have physically hurt them if they hadn't fought back, but when you're going to have your mind messed with, you shouldn't just roll over and let it happen. She would have done the same thing in their place.

[percy_jackson]

I stood at her, mouth agape, for a moment, before I closed my mouth. "Well. Hello to you too," I said again.

It hurt to hear that, there was no denying that. But I'd be lying if I said I was surprised by this. After all, hadn't Valkyrie told me flat out at the start of... whatever this was... that she wasn't ready for a serious relationship? I wouldn't have said 'I love you' if I hadn't thought I was about to die.

I looked away a moment, thinking over my next words. Then I said, "So... tell me something. Are we... still friends?"

[tooprettytodie]

"I'm sorry," she said, wincing at the expression on his face. She hadn't meant to hurt him, that was the last thing she wanted to do. But the last time she had dragged a relationship on because she couldn't say what needed to be said it had been horrible. She really needed to work on finding a happy medium.

"And I want to be friends. If you still want to be friends with a girl who is prophesied to destroy the world."

[notaparker]

"I'm sure we can work out a gift basket," I say, tossing her a slightly-awkward but slightly relieved smile in return. She's answering her door and trying for levity, I take these as pretty good signs. "You can never go wrong with muffins and chocolate. It's really not necessary, though."

I pause. "...although now I wish I'd brought muffins."

[percy_jackson]

"It's okay," I said quietly. Actually, it was a bit bitter, but what could I do? I wondered where we'd redraw the boundaries. I hoped that hugging wouldn't be ruled off limits. But she did give me a ray of hope. She'd said that she might love me in the future, and if there was anything this Island had taught me, it was how to wait.

At her comment about a prophesy, however, I frowned thoughtfully. After facing Darquesse, yeah, I could see it. She could beat Kronos if she put her mind to it. But then I couldn't help but smile a little. "A prophesy, eh? Did yours come in the form of a creepy and enigmatic poem?"

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie was appreciative of the smile. Jessica had a great smile and even if it wasn't a full on beaming grin, it wasn't entirely forced.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that should be giving you gifts for what I put you through," she said, moving aside to let the other girl in.

[tooprettytodie]

"No, it came in the form of watching a vision of myself killing my parents," she said. That still haunted her sometimes and she almost wished she wasn't both on the island and back home, because her family would be safe.

"And every medium of any power back home is freaking out about Darquesse. Only one other person knows it's me, but the visions of the future are so strong and so terrible they're all seeing it. No matter what I do, they don't stop having the visions."

[percy_jackson]

I winced. "Okay, as prophesies go, give me the Oracle's stupidly cryptic verses any day. That... really sucks. I'm sorry." I nodded at the sand again. "Are you sure you don't want to sit? And talk about it?"

[swan_diver]

Bella smiled, "Just the opposite, it'd make me feel a lot better if you did, because then I'd know you weren't beating yourself up too badly about it. As for the other," she shrugged a little. "It's not the first time I've seen a friend turn into something big and kinda badass when faced with a threat. I guess I'm an old hand at it by now."

[notaparker]

"It's really not necessary," I say, shaking my head as I step inside. "I don't think you should beat yourself up about any of that."

I wince, again. That might be a poor choice of words. No, it's a common turn of phrase, it's fine. Just because there was beating up and multiple selves, it doesn't make that a weird thing to say. I hope.

"I mean, I say that knowing that saying that probably won't make it not happen or anything. But I don't blame you."

[teambatgirl]

Steph gives it a few days; she's from Gotham and she's a Bat, so she can appreciate the importance of a good brood. There are things that a person has to work through, and some people need to do it on their own.

But after getting that note, Steph marched her butt right to Valkyrie's door and knocked smartly. There is a time when one has to get down from the gargoyle.

"You don't have to open the door," Steph calls. "But if you don't I will begin to serenade you with the best of '90s R&B and I won't stop until I get to Beyonce going solo."

[tooprettytodie]

"I know. I mean, I know in the way that if our situations were reversed, I'd be telling you the same thing."

But that only helps so much because there were so many "I should haves" running through her head that it seemed like there were a dozen times she could or should have avoided becoming Darquesse.

"But I should have been able to keep that from happening. It's not like I shouldn't have been able to do that stuff without becoming like that. And I should have told you guys before so that you could be ready to get away. Of course, you're all so stupidly wonderful you probably wouldn't have run off."