"We'd be a total sitcom," I say, nodding along, wide-eyed at the realization. "Wacky antics everywhere."

I throw up my hands in mock dismay. "Good job, Cain, now I'll never be truly happy, because I know our relationshop could have been so much more." I pause, consider whether the idea that follows is ridiculous, and then decide to go with it because what is my life if not, you know, ridiculous. "...do you think we could have a pretend wacky antics date?"