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[tooprettytodie]

It was time to stop hiding. That didn't mean she was going to fully integrate herself into island society again. She still wasn't going to go to her dance classes, especially not with Percy there, but she had decided to go ahead and live in her own place again. As grateful as she was to Charlie and Edmund for letting her crash at their place, she wanted to be back home.

She had left notes in the mailboxes of everyone that had gone home with everyone. They simply said I'm sorry. -Valkyrie

She wasn't sure what could be said beyond that. She hated herself for what she had done to them, even if becoming Darquesse had been to save them. In the end, she hadn't been strong enough to save her friends, not from herself. Not only that, but each time she became Darquesse, it was harder and harder to find her way back. If it hadn't been for the ending of the dream, she wasn't sure if she would have come back from that.

Then there was the fact that all of her closest friends now knew her secret. It wouldn't have been so bad except that her secret was that she had the potential to become some sort of crazy-powerful nut job without any conscience. Go her.

Sighing, Valkyrie curled up on her couch and hugged her knees to her chest. She'd just sit here for a while and try not to obsess over what happened. Later, much, much later tonight she would head to the ring and take out some anger on one of the bags and maybe go for a run along the beach.

[This can be set for any time between the 1st of June and now.]

Comments

[percy_jackson]

Valkyrie was very good at hiding. After I'd woken up, I'd tried to rush over to her place to talk to her. It was only because my body betrayed me, telling me in no uncertain terms I needed food and, almost as importantly, a shower, that I didn't do just that. By the time I got to her hut, she was gone, and my attempts to find her proved fruitless.

By then, it was clear that she didn't want to be found, and while that hurt, I understood. So, I gave her her space. I went to Coraline's birthday party. I went to dance class one week, and left when Valkyrie didn't show up. It was the hardest couple of weeks in my life. The pain from the injuries sustained in my dream stayed with me, though there was no reason for them to be there whatsoever. Probably psychosomatic, I thought, grimly.

When Valkyrie's note appeared in my mailbox, I thought again about going to her hut. I didn't. Maybe it was because the note was so short. She had nothing to say -- and what could she say? And what could I say in return? So I stayed in my bedroom, moping, before Mrs. O'Leary rousted me in no uncertain terms and demanded her walk.

I patted Mrs. O'Leary's side as we headed out for a walk along the beach. Apparently, she'd sat outside my hut, not moving, while I was in my dream trip. I was afraid I'd neglected her in the weeks that followed. She deserved better, so I gave her a long walk. A good choice, too, as the sound of the surf soothed me.

But then Mrs. O'Leary looked ahead, and let out a soft "WOOF!".

I looked ahead, and saw a shadow against the twilight that I recognized instantly. My heart leapt, but I smiled. I patted Mrs. O'Leary and nodded at the forest. "Go have some fun, girl," I said. Mrs. O'Leary bounded into the woods.

I cut across the beach, and stood by the water, my hands in my pockets, waiting as Valkyrie approached.

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie had decided that she had had enough moping around. She wanted to go out for a run, to exhaust herself until she puked and could collapse into sleep.

One of the most disturbing things about all of this was that she didn't have any nightmares. Valkyrie felt like she should at least have nightmares from everything she had done to everyone but there was nothing like that. Just one more thing to feel guilty about.

She had decided to run along the beach, enjoying how heavy the sand made her feet feel and how cool the breeze was. A run seemed to be just the thing that she needed, already her head feeling more clear and the shadows that plagued her hanging a little less heavy on her.

And then she heard the bark, unmistakable even on an island full of large dogs. Mrs. O'Leary was unmistakable and where she was, Percy was close by. She thought about running away, but she couldn't. She wished she could say that it was because she was a strong person but that wasn't true. It was because Percy deserved it.

"Hey," she said, brushing the hair from her eyes as she jogged up to him. "Sorry if I puke on your shoes, I was going all out."

[percy_jackson]

I frowned. Who jogged until they were about to puke? Someone who wanted to run and not stop, ever, I realized. I kept my voice light. "Hello to you too." Then, more seriously, I added, "Maybe you'd like to sit down?" I nodded at the sand.

[tooprettytodie]

"No, let's keep walking for right now. If I sit down I'll especially sore tomorrow," she said.

She was breathing hard, but it was a good excuse to be short on words for the moment. Normally with Percy she knew exactly what to say or do, but right now she wasn't sure.

[percy_jackson]

I nodded, and fell into step beside her. A part of me wondered if she didn't want to sit down so she wouldn't have to get up in case she decided to run away, but I left that thought alone.

We walked in awkward silence a moment, as the horizon brightened with moonrise. I ran over in my head things I wanted to say. Everything I could think of seemed trite or stupid.

Finally, I settled with, "Okay, stupid question of the year: are you all right?"

[swan_diver]

It took Bella a day or two to recover from being immobile for so long, to eat and get her strength back, to calm a very stressed boyfriend who'd watched after her while she slept, to try and sleep around a new round of nightmares. Thankfully, as ever, his arms were there before the screams came so they never got as bad as they probably could have been.

When she found the note in her mailbox, it was the first time she'd felt back to her normal self, so she'd gone in search of her friend and it was only by accident (spotting her through a window as she passed) that Bella found her.

She didn't go closer than sight range before she called out. "Val?"

[tooprettytodie]

Bella was probably the easiest of her friends to face. Possibly because she didn't directly hurt her or mess with her as Darquesse. She was grateful for that, especially since out of everyone Bella was able to least fight back. Bella still deserved an apology though.

"Hey," she called out. "Come on in, the door is unlocked."

[swan_diver]

She stepped into the hut tentatively, looking around to see if they were alone or not. Once close enough, she took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, studying her best friend's face. "How're you doing? Since, we...came home, I guess?"

[tooprettytodie]

If it had been anyone but Bella, she might have thought they were studying her to see if it was Valkyrie or Darquesse that was home. But that was something she knew that Bella would never do.

"I'm fine. Physically, at least. But I- how do I even start to apologize for what happened? I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I did all that to you."

[swan_diver]

Bella shook her head. "You don't start, because there's nothing to apologize for, Valkyrie. Unless you're trying to make me believe you went to bed that night thinking how great it'd be to grab a handful of us and take us home with you for zombies and deep dark secrets you would have rather no one ever knew."

She looked over at Valkyrie with a raised eyebrow. "Any of that true?"

[notaparker]

There's two main feelings I get off the note, once I get it. The first is relief. It's signed Valkyrie, and it may only be two words long but they're two words that my least favorite Mr Hyde reboot is extremely unlikely to have penned. Which meant that Valkyrie woke up as Valkyrie. I was worried that might not be the case.

So there's relief, and there's the feeling bad about having to receive the note in the first place, because all of that happened. And I didn't stop it. I didn't make it not necessary for her to bring the other side of herself out, I didn't find a way to bring her back to normal. Good job earning that sense of relief, hero.

That might be part of why I don't immediately go and find her, although I think that the reason of giving her some space is also valid. It seems reasonable, if she's leaving notes, she doesn't want to deal with anyone immediately. And that works, for a bit, but then it's partway through the month and I start to wonder if actually I'm not delaying because of my own issues and maybe I should check in, and should have earlier.

Yeah, this month has been a real great showing from yours- and there I go again. Not about me. About her, and about the frankly sort-of-terrifying other her. Let's see if she actually wants or needs a conversation about... whatever that is.

"Avon calling," I say, knocking.

Ergh. Weak. So weak. Just... so obvious.

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie was torn about wanting to see Jess again. On one hand, Jessica was awesome and a great friend and person and someone she could probably talk about this with and be happy with. On the other hand, she had totally gone all Dark Side on her friends and really hurt them, mentally and physically. So there was that.

"Oh good," Valkyrie called, getting up off the couch and heading to the door. Opening it, she gave her best effort for a smile. "Do you have any gifts that say 'I'm sorry for sucking you into my zombie apocalypse dream and turning super evil?' Because... I could really use some gifts like that right now."

[notaparker]

"I'm sure we can work out a gift basket," I say, tossing her a slightly-awkward but slightly relieved smile in return. She's answering her door and trying for levity, I take these as pretty good signs. "You can never go wrong with muffins and chocolate. It's really not necessary, though."

I pause. "...although now I wish I'd brought muffins."

[tooprettytodie]

Valkyrie was appreciative of the smile. Jessica had a great smile and even if it wasn't a full on beaming grin, it wasn't entirely forced.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that should be giving you gifts for what I put you through," she said, moving aside to let the other girl in.

[notaparker]

"It's really not necessary," I say, shaking my head as I step inside. "I don't think you should beat yourself up about any of that."

I wince, again. That might be a poor choice of words. No, it's a common turn of phrase, it's fine. Just because there was beating up and multiple selves, it doesn't make that a weird thing to say. I hope.

"I mean, I say that knowing that saying that probably won't make it not happen or anything. But I don't blame you."

[teambatgirl]

Steph gives it a few days; she's from Gotham and she's a Bat, so she can appreciate the importance of a good brood. There are things that a person has to work through, and some people need to do it on their own.

But after getting that note, Steph marched her butt right to Valkyrie's door and knocked smartly. There is a time when one has to get down from the gargoyle.

"You don't have to open the door," Steph calls. "But if you don't I will begin to serenade you with the best of '90s R&B and I won't stop until I get to Beyonce going solo."

[tooprettytodie]

"You must really, really hate me," she said, giving a half an attempt at a smile as she opened the door. It was good to see Steph. She wouldn't have blamed her friends for not coming, but selfishly she was glad Steph was here so they could talk.

"But it would be worth it to hear you sing 'Bootlylicious'."

[teambatgirl]

Steph smiles sunnily at Valkyrie when the door opens. "Sorry, Cain, you're great but you're so not ready for this jelly." She's playing it off and keeping things light, but she is decidedly relieved to find Valkyrie not just not evil magicy but actually willing to open the door and talk.

"How you holding up?"

[tooprettytodie]

"That's fine. I don't want no scrubs," she said, moving aside to let Steph in. At least, she hoped her friend wanted to come in and this wasn't just a crazy check. Not that she could blame Steph if it was, but she wanted it to be more than that.

"And I'm... I feel terrible about what happened. I mean, I turned your girlfriend into a stone-cold killer and sent her to fight you."

[teambatgirl]

"It wasn't you," Steph tells her as she reaches out to squeeze her shoulder. Yes, Cass had...reverted to being a person Steph hadn't seen, and, yes, she'd come out battered and bruised. But Cass hadn't been herself and neither had Valkyrie. "It wasn't her and it wasn't you."

[kinesicist]

Her fingers twitched, palm opening and extending as she wiggled her fingers, a quiet wave of greeting to Valkyrie as she lurked in the shadows of a nearby tree. She had been following her now for more than a mile, quiet and lurking as she watched her. Her face was a blanket of calm as she approached Valkyrie. Other people would have been angry at her but Cass? Cass understood.

The creature, woman, who attacked her was not Valkyrie. The creature who took away her choice, her conscience and turned her against everything she believed in? Was not Valkyrie. And yet Valkyrie was still not present, she felt... guilty perhaps? Nervous. Hn, she would find out. She would talk and Cassandra hated talking.

[tooprettytodie]

Out of all the people that had gone with her on the dream, she was worried about seeing Cass the most. Out of everyone, she had hurt her the most. Not physically, but with what she'd done to her. For all she had known, Cass could have returned to the island like that where no one could easily undo what Valkyrie had done.

Also, Cass could totally kick her ass if she wanted to and Valkyrie couldn't even deny that she had it coming. She also knew though that Cass was a good person, and probably wouldn't do that. Probably.

"Hey," Valkyrie said. She was ashamed of what she had done. Ashamed and so sorry and so sad for what she put Cass through and if she could do anything to make it up to her she would.

[kinesicist]

Cassandra turned her head, looking at her shoulders and the way she read. She read like Cassandra. The guilt, the shame, the sadness but not quite the same, it wasn't her blood that Valkyrie had on her hands. But Cassandra's were covered in them. She would never erase what she had done, she could only control who she was now.

"You've been hiding. Why?" Cass asked quietly, cutting away the quiet greetings in exchange for direct words.

[tooprettytodie]

Well, no beating around the bush here, which she could respect. Sort of. It also meant that there was no dodging the situation either, although she owed it to Cassandra of all people not to do that.

"Because I just couldn't face all of you. I was ashed of what I became and what I did to you all. I'm sorry, Cass, for doing that to you."

[kinesicist]

Her shoulders lifted in a light shrug. Her control was who she was, it was the thing that kept her from becoming like her father, like her mother and moving from job to job. It was the thing that kept her from killing. She had taken that away from her, not Valkyrie. Her.

"It wasn't you, she was not you. You can't be blamed for what she did." Cass replied simply as if it was easy as that. "You did not do that to me. She did. Not you."